Love on the Timeline - Umbrella Academy‘s final season serves up two more unconventional love stories

Looking back at the full four seasons, “Umbrella Academy” has always had a unique take on the concept of romantic relationships… 

It started back in S1 with Luther still holding a torch for Allison, who was not only his first teenage crush but also his sister. Fans were divided over whether this was horrific and incestuous or cute and innocent. Over time, things between them became even more complicated, and S3 put the cherry on the unhealthy cake when Allison used her powers on her brother out of jealousy over his new girlfriend, arguably causing the biggest controversy of the entire show. 

Season one also had Five in love with the upper half of a shop mannequin, not the healthiest of romantic attachments either. Mind you, while the original graphic novel could have included an actual physical relationship between the 60-year-old man man stuck in the body of a 13-year-old teenager and an adult woman, there is no way such a connection would have survived the TV adaption, given that the actor was only 14 at the time. So it was probably for the best.  

Since then, Five has stayed single (at least on screen), so it’s hardly surprising that he got a bit desperate by season four. 

The others hardly faired any better. Klaus met his true love Dave in a tragic “kill your gays“ storyline that took a - you guessed it - slightly controversial turn in S2 when poor number four tried to connect with a teenage version of Dave to discourage him from enlisting in the army to save him from being killed in Vietnam. Even starting his own sex cult didn't work out for him. 

Vanya had an affair with a married woman while developing a difficult (non romantic!) relationship towards her son, and Diego fell head over heels for a professional assassin he met in a mental hospital who later made him believe they had a son together. 

 

Now that we have reached the final chapter, it is hardly surprising that the word "healthy" may not be the first word that comes to your mind when describing this season's new romances.

So, Number Five finally gets some adult action. Not that we get to see any of it, because this is a show that gets its 16+ rating exclusively from its frequent display of violence, not nudity. 

Not that I am complaining.  Five and Lila’s love story is such a slow, cautious affaire that longing looks and gentle kisses portray their feelings better than any sex scene ever could. 

That said, their connection is not without its issues. First, the word "their" feels wrong. This is a story about Five seeking love and Lila being lonely, not about them as a couple. I understand that introducing yet another new female character just to pair them with a Hargreeves brother would have been extremely challenging, and that the betrayal was a large part of the story. But burdening Lila with an extremely stereotypical and out-of-character "unhappy mom of three" - backstory just to throw her into the arms of her brother-in-law felt more than a little clumsy and highly unoriginal. 

It is testament to Aidan Gallagher and his superb acting skills that despite the circumstances I found myself routing for them, if only to see the burden of 60 years of utter loneliness lifted from the man’s heart and soul. 

The other love story of the season is even less convincing, and much less entertaining. 

Jennifer, the „anti-Hargreeves“ is a huge wasted opportunity. Her predicament is interesting enough, but we never get to see her side of things, which makes it difficult to feel empathy (or much of anything at all) towards her character. She remains the unintentional yet deadly honey trap for Ben, with no agency of her own. 

Pairing her romantically with Ben Hargreeves, sole survivor of S3's competitors Swallow Academy may not have been the best choice either. He is still extremely unlikeable throughout the first episode, and it is hard to grasp why Jennifer would invite him back into her diner, let alone run off with him. Sure, it’s the irresistible physical attraction created by the close proximity of Marigold and Durango (who chose those names?), as we are told multiple times. 

Yet, despite all the passionate dialogue (or rather monologues), there is no spark between them, no heat underneath their glowing skin. 

Perhaps that was the intention - to show the effect of the alien substances on two otherwise unwilling parties. But even so, it makes little sense. These are not two people fighting against the urge to touch each other. Both appear too aloof to actually care about the other even as they start to slip away into the cleanse monster. 

In the end, I respect Umbrella Academy for being bold enough to serve up these difficult relationships over the years, however unhealthy and questionable they may have been. It definitely gave us something to talk about. Let's hope Diego, Five and Lila can have some fun together in whatever afterlife awaits them.